WHAT IS WRONG WITH MEH

2:37 AM

I cannot stop playing LINE PLAY. Ever.

The avatars are so pretty that I’m afraid of catfishing the timeline with my real, sleep-deprived face. Solution: be beautiful in-game and profoundly unserious about it.

Gacha Fever (send help, or diamonds)

I pulled a “just one more” and accidentally spent my entire budget. Everything in gacha is criminally kyut, which explains my financial ruin.

Reselling? The prices are tragic, so I decorated my room like a maximalist parade.

Yes, Hinamatsuri is over; no, I will not take the dolls down.

Things I Do in LINE PLAY (that would get me arrested IRL)

Screenshot captions I absolutely would post

Steal a stranger’s bike. (Return date: vibes.)

Nap on a stranger’s bed. #OnlyInLinePlay

Commit interior design felonies: describe it in one word

KEPLEZET

(caplek, belepotan, but make it couture).

Some rooms are so full of furniture I can hear their gacha fever humming.

Sister, I see you. I am you.

Teleport into homes with “Do Not Enter” energy.

“Just landed in a cursed mansion. If I disappear, it was the wallpaper.”

“Masa kecil kurang bahagia

so I’m stealing your cart.”

bye galz i stole ya unicorn

“Don’t look, guys, it’s porn.”

“Ava knows I’m still in bed,

so she’s the only one going outside.”

Am I too old for this app?

Probably. I once got kicked from a group chat for being the oldest. I should’ve said I was seven.

Next time I’ll behave like I’m two: speak in stickers, hoard cookies, and cry when the gacha is mid.

Tiny Tips (from a chaotic auntie)

Set a daily gem cap. When it’s gone, decorate, don’t pull.

Theme zones in your room (sleep corner, chaos corner, flex corner) so it looks intentional.

Screenshot your fits before you change, memory insurance.

Visit strangers nicely: drop a heart and a memo; don’t just snore on their bed. (Do as I say…)

ikkel

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