Traveler in a Suitcase!: October 2020

Turned away

There are times when you're truly loving someone, you will always try your best for their happiness. Whenever the relationship will not going well or you can't be together for several reasons, you'll ask and beg that they will always be happy.

It's actually unfair and devastating. How could you see them, someone that you love, get into a relationship that is not you?

I can't lose him, I really want him, I wanted to be the one who's coming to him whenever he got sad. I wanted to be the one who's taking care of him. I wanted to be the one who's 24 hours besides him. I wanted to be his happy ending story. I know I can't.

I can't be that girl.

I'm quite a fool for love, I always am that person who loves too hard and keep falling for it.
I can't bear any future seeing him with his girlfriend. I can't bear those feelings.

I'm not the one that you've been searching for

You might be happy to find yourself being alone

but I'm not that person

and I know I won't

I will never be your home, despite all the love that you gave it to me. You can't be mine, you'll find your soulmate and I need to accept that you are not part of my life.

But when loving you was the best thing that I had. I can't believe you made my life getting better despite the hard things that we've been through. You never hurt my fragile self and you never made any tears on my cheek. Your love is the loveliest thing that I ever had and I trust you so much.

This could be hard at first and I know it could hurt me so much

Day by day, if it could make him get better and happier

In a day when I only could see your back from afar

When we met again with our new futures

I love you

and it's not enough to be described here

Thank you for always listens, thank you for trying to heal my wounds, thank you for keep telling the best parts lying inside me, thank you for unlocking all of the burdens inside me

Thank you, thank you for always stays beside me

You are the best part that I won't ever have

I know I'm a fool to say this

My heart is too heavy to say this

Starting today, I'm gonna set you free

I am not gonna put you in misery

Even if my heart still lock on to you

I need to be stronger and would be happy to let you go

So, please

Please be happy, won't you?

Ikkel