Traveler in a Suitcase!

Lately, I kinda have free time for myself, it feels better than before and I tried to read English novels since my English getting mixed up with Japanese.

it's been like a year? I've been losing my confidence and it never coming back to me.

I just had a light snack from famima and i don't think i'm not a fan

I'm a typical person who's afraid of choosing something. My anxiety about losing is totally dangerous and the feeling was so great.

People were saying it's fine to lose, or the key to being a success is by losing something and get the feeling of failing (I hope I'm not wrong in hearing someone quotes)

I am not a fan of that quote, I can't bear the feeling of losing and failing. I failed in a lot of things, there are things that I could get it but 90% of it always ended up fail. 

I lose lots of people that I know, I lose the feelings of something. It is horrible and I don't know how to get back and keep it up with all the things that I lose.

I know by writing this it has the meaning that I am weak.
I always feel weak and gross, but my life still moving on

I am weak, I cried, I feel down, feeling in pain for quite a long time, hopeless, anything that could wreck my inner side

but I did not end my life so can I consider myself not weak?

In this post, I will try to write in Indonesian too! it's still weird for me writing something in Indonesian rather English (even though I'm not so informative either in English lol) 

The first time I went here because I was always curious with Hooters. My friend told me that there will be lots of pretty girls. But actually, this restaurant originally came from the USA and opening its chains in lots of places including Tokyo (I heard Jakarta also have Hooters?) This place is famous for the Hooters girl and you could talk with them!

Alasan kesini gara-gara penasaran banget sama hooters. Kata temen banyak perempuan cantik di hooters.
Hooters ini asalnya dari USA dan sudah banyak buka cabang salah satunya di Tokyo ini (kalau nggak salah sih di jakarta juga ada) Tempat ini famous banget sama "hooters girl" dan paling menyenangkannya lagi kamu bisa ngobrol sama mereka! (benernya biasa ajasih tapi berhubung w seneng banget sok deket sama orang2 dan berhubung ngobrol sama perempuan lebih nyambung gitu ngobrolnya jadinya kan mending kesini ya?)


There are lots of hooters in Tokyo and one of my favorites is in Shibuya. It is located on the 4th floor, you only could use the elevator to go to this place. When you reached the place this place is really spacious with so-American ambiance. They will ask you how many people are you with and do you smoke or not. There are some hooter girls who speak English so you have no problem with your lack of Japanese (of course they have an English menu since this restaurant is from the USA!)

Buat Tokyo ini, ada banyak hooters dan salah satu tempat favorit sih di shibuya ini. Letaknya ada di lantai 4. Buat ketempat ini kamu cuma bisa naik elevator, waktu itu sempet naik tangga buat kesini tapi ternyata pintunya nggak menghubung ke Hooters (lebih kayak emergency exit gitu) Waktu udh sampe ketempat ini, tempat ini bener-bener luas banget dengan suasana amerikanya. Pas kamu masuk ketempat ini kamu bakal ditanya berapa orang dan kalian merokok atau nggak. (Mereka punya menu bahasa inggris juga lo!)










For the starter, we ordered Quesadillas Cheese (JPY 1080)
Don't ask me what's inside the quesadillas while it's obviously cheese lol. I'm so so so so so obsessed cheese so I really like it! Served with Salsa and Sour cream, tempting.

Untuk mulanya kita order quedsadilla cheese (JPY 1080) dan jangan tanya lagi apa yg ada didalem quesadilla karena udh jelas banget nggak sih? lol
Buat aku yang suka banget banget banget keju ini enakkkkkkk
Disajikan dengan saus salsa dan Sour cream, menggoda banget!







As a person who thinks green food means healthy, they serve salad too. Ordered Buffalo chicken Salad (JPY 1380) with ranch dressing. You could choose Blue Cheese or ranch for the dressing but I'm not a blue cheese fan so...

Buat aku yang selalu punya mindset sayur hijau berati sehat, aku pesen Buffalo chicken salad (JPY 1380) dengan ranch dressing. Dressingnya sih mereka punya 2: Blue cheese dan Ranch. Tapi karena daridulu sama sekali nggak suka Blue cheese akhirnya pesen ranch deh.







Getting ready for the main dish, because we're feeling American on that day ordered Western BBQ burger (JPY 1680) Taste was satisfying. I love burger so I won't lie it was good!

Buat main dishnya kita pesen Western BBQ burger (JPY 1680). Karena aku emang suka burger jadinya aku bakal bilang burger ini enak! porsinya lumayan besar jadi hati-hati ya kalau lagi laper mata ^^







Presenting my last and my favorite ever, their Breaded Chicken Wings will always be my favorite wings ever. I'm sorry I forgot what's the price, it depends on how much you buy your chicken and it's about JPY 1500 less?
These wings are almost the same as Richeese's spicy wings. But SERIOUSLY GUYS I LOVE THIS WINGS there will be the times I couldn't sleep because I wanna eat this so badly lol #respect
They have a level of spiciness. I always forgot what's my favorite sauce because they have lots :( The spiciest one was never been recommended by the girls. My favorite was not the spiciest, it has a little bit sourly feeling. Of course you for the spicy weak person you could still choose another sauce. They have lots of choices! Relax

Mempersembahkan ayam favoritku ke kalian, pertama kali jatuh cinta sama tempat ini sih karena ayamnya enak. Aku sih selalu mesen Breaded Chicken wings ini. Buat harganya maaf banget ya aku lupa huhuhuhu nggak gara2 favorit jadi nggak pernah liat harganya lol (ada nggak yang kaya gini?)
Tapi harga yang aku beli ini sih kurang lebih JPY1500?
Jadi ayam ini dibumbuin luarnya dengan saus kayak ayam pedes Richeese gitu deh tapi sumpah ini enak enak enak dan sering galau dong nggak bisa tidur cuma karena pengen ayam lol 
Mereka punya tipe kepedesan. Aku lupa lagi dong saus favoritku apa hahahaha #maafkan
Tapi mbak2nya sih nggak pernah rekomendasiin yg paling pedes, Favoritku itu rasanya pedes yang nggak pedes banget, masih ada rasa sour gitu jadi enakkkk hehe
Tapi buat kalian yang nggak suka pedes masih ada saus cocol ranch ataupun bumbu yg lain kok tenang saja!





Okay from the food, lol to be honest it's bit pricey for me #poorlady but the portion is so-American for me. I mean it's big! I can't eat this only for myself. But if you love to eat food so much i think you could eat this.

Buat makanannya sih ya hahaha demi apa semuanya terlihat mahal #orangmiskin tapi jangan salah satu porsi makanan ini GEDE BANGET. Buatku porsi ini bener2 porsi orang amerika banget. Kecuali kalian yang emang doyan makan sih bakal kurang ya. Tapi buat orang yang cuma makan sebagai kebutuhan doang sih ini bakal lebih dari cukup. (mungkin 1 orang bisa berdua?)


Oh and you still need to pay Tax and Service here!
I hope you enjoy hooters as I enjoy their Chicken wings!

When you didn't say anything

nobody will know how weak and fragile you are 
nobody will make you feel safe 
nobody will tell you that everything is going to be fine
nobody will help you 
nobody will come and stay longer 
nobody will understand you 

There are lots of things that I wanna say, there are lots of things that I wish I could express 

But there are lots of considerations that make me shut my mouth. I am weak I really am 
I can't even stand tall and act like everything will be better

I have no confidence in myself
I wanna change 

and then it will repeat without growing any differences.

No, don't put hopes too high since it's not spicy for me at all. Even when you're dipping it with spicy sauce it's not spicy at all
For the sauce i prefer the spicy one because it's delish for me!

it's not spicy but i think i like it better than the usual nugget. I'll rate 8/10 because it's not spicy

you'll get this nugget for 200/1 box (inside is 5 pieces nugget.

I hate the feeling of losing a friend, especially when you're close, hate the feeling when you're not the one that your friend could trust anymore.

What I could think about now, was it because I'm busy? I'm no good as a friend? People are way better than me? I'm unpredictable? I judge you so much?

you know I love you like the way you are when you're happy it made me the happiest thing of my life
When you're sad I'll listen to all of your stories, you could say the f words to me only to make you feel at ease.

The feeling of being useless, I know people tend to wipe away their problem pretending that they're strong and happy
I'm currently in that state right now, I do know how it feels

Everybody knows how it feels

But how they stop talking with me, not giving me a sign of life.

Just say

hi, I'm fine (even I know you're not)

Don't you just dare Showing your friend having fun with you?
don't you just dare to ignore me
don't you just dare to pretend that I'm not there anymore


When we're being grateful we meet each other was it just a lie?

now that I'm deeply hurt and tried lots of things to get you back, being spoiled on insta stories.
don't you want me back?

If you think I'm not capable enough of being a friend. I'm deeply sorry, I'll let you go
Whatever you say I'm giving up on my friendship, aren't you just the same?

don't you dare play as a victim, here I am wiping my tears because I'm the evil one? On blue, for quite a long time because I'm the evil one does not make any sense to me.

If losing a friend hurts this much, I don't want it

Ever since I stop dreaming, I feel lost
I stop dreaming since I was in Junior High
My dream never came true. I was a child at that time
It hurts me so much that I think I do not have to dream anymore
I keep moving, walking to something that I don't even know why I should walk
Grabbed the chance that I could get, I did all the chance that I got without feeling like I wanna do it. But somehow i'm so good with this


Till now
I still have no dream
I have nowhere to go
Feeling lost whenever people near me tell about their dream
What I could get till now is flexibility

Is it bad to not have a dream?
Is it bad to have a dream?

bad and good, only society could tell

If society tells me I'm bad, what should I do?

If I don't listen to society does everything that I did becoming bad?\

I made this post to make a statement that I'm feeling lost in myself, I can't find the answer that I want to find.

Seems like grass always greener on the other side always been true, there will be some people who've been jealous of my life. I might think that a person's life is way happier than me.

I'm totally not a person who could write a long sentence about how I feel today, one thing that I could tell, a word of despair is the best word that could be representing how do I feel lately.

I think when you're at a point where tough things kick me, I feel like my eyes are getting wider and wider in everything. I'm hoping that this is the process to get to a happy life.
I know one day I might doubt what I said. "Does happy life does exist?"

the answer is what you think.

stop comparing your life to people
stop dreaming about the perfect life
stop thinking about what other people think about me
stop saving lots of hatred and revenge towards people

do you think if you stop doing those things your life will be better?