I'm a typical person who's afraid of choosing something. My anxiety about losing is totally dangerous and the feeling was so great.

People were saying it's fine to lose, or the key to being a success is by losing something and get the feeling of failing (I hope I'm not wrong in hearing someone quotes)

I am not a fan of that quote, I can't bear the feeling of losing and failing. I failed in a lot of things, there are things that I could get it but 90% of it always ended up fail. 

I lose lots of people that I know, I lose the feelings of something. It is horrible and I don't know how to get back and keep it up with all the things that I lose.

I know by writing this it has the meaning that I am weak.
I always feel weak and gross, but my life still moving on

I am weak, I cried, I feel down, feeling in pain for quite a long time, hopeless, anything that could wreck my inner side

but I did not end my life so can I consider myself not weak?