it's been a while!

1:16 AM

It’s been a minute. I missed blogging.

The only place where oversharing counts as productivity.

Lately I’ve been not in great shape (mind and body). So I’m attempting the ancient ritual of Changing My Sh*t Life™: be more productive, think positive, and pretend my inner critic doesn’t have a megaphone.

I’m not very open. I try. Mostly I rehearse vulnerability in drafts and then hit delete like it owes me money.

But: I feel better than before.

I’ve gone no-makeup for a while—not because I hate makeup, but because I’m trying to borrow my face back. I do sports, yoga, study, and say nice things to my brain like it’s a houseplant I forgot for three months.

I’m grateful for friends who help and listen even when I never explain the actual problem.
(You’re saints. I’m chaos.)

Is it easy? Absolutely not. Some days I can hear the Old Me rattling the door.

Loud, dramatic, terrifyingly efficient.

Regression is a hobby that requires no equipment.

But I’m still here, still choosing the small good things: water, stretches, pages, bed by not-tomorrow.

Also: I think I’ve caught K-Pop fever. Symptoms include spontaneous choreography and a 2017 Korea plan forming in my Notes app. If this becomes a visa application, I was dared.

Anyway, this is me trying.

I’ll probably glitch. I’ll post anyway.

What’s Helping (when the spiral starts)

No-makeup days to practice not hiding from mirrors
20-minute yoga (counts, even if the mat judges you)
Study sprints: 25 minutes focus, 5 minutes feral
Text a friend “I have nothing to say. Please exist near me”
Walk + playlist: sad song, then clown song, repeat

ikkel

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