Random
11:52 PMHi! I disappeared because I tried a strict diet and my body submitted a formal complaint. Translation: gastritis, fever, numb, and the personality of a low-battery phone. I keep looping the same thought: “be smaller.” I lose weight the wrong way, gain it back, punish myself, repeat. The womanly sickness of wanting to be thin is so loud some days that logic packs its bags. I know someone will say it’s stupid.
Maybe.
But it’s also human when the world applauds skinny and calls fat “jelek.” I’m short; I hear the jokes, I internalize the nonsense, then I ghost my own needs. Social life can be sharp.
I’m still grateful tho, my body still works, even when I bully it. But I’m tired of making my stomach pay for my feelings.
The reset (gentle mode on)
- Food: more vegetables, real meals, no skipping just to “win” the day.
- Calories: track sanely, not like I’m speed-running a game.
- Movement: minimum 7-minute workout when I’m lazy, run when I’m brave, stretch either way.
- Rules: no “good/bad” foods; just context. (A donut isn’t a felony. A day isn’t a verdict.)
- Health note: gastritis is my red card. If pain spikes, I switch to gentle foods, hydrate, and rest. Pride doesn’t digest well.
If you’re reading this and in the same loop: you are not a before/after picture. You’re a person. (And yes, that sentence is for me, too.)
Mini Snack Review (because coping = crunchy)
- Lorenz Chipsletten (IDR 14k): meh for me. Texture’s fine, flavor lands soft.
- Grain Waves: wins when I want hearty crunch and “I’m an adult” vibes.
- Pringles Original / Sour Cream: classic loyalty. The tube is a trap and I walk into it smiling.
Verdict: I’ll reach for Pringles or Grain Waves next time. Sour cream is my Roman Empire.
Tiny promises I can keep
- Eat like I care about tomorrow-me.
- Move my body because it feels good, not because I’m guilty.
- Speak about my height and size without inviting an insult. (Silence is also an option.)
- Log off when comparison starts chewing on my brain.
Catch ya later,
Ikkeru
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