If I could describe this month I would say that this month is the worst month ever.

I really super extremely very bery likes December so #!?*@#^&*% much 

But this month, I don't know. it's too much for me

I told you one of my worst nightmares

My puppies are sleeping for eternity. Sleeping forever. Lemme tell you my fairy tale stories. 

I have a pet in Bali, well it's just a normal local dog but I love him so much! called him Putih or white because he has white fur lol 

He was living in my neighborhood since he's still a puppy (I was still in Surabaya), my relatives love him so much. He sometimes slept in front of my house, sometimes he wandered around.

My neighborhood is kinda weird lol. My cousin has cats and I had a dog lol and they live happily ever after wtf. Last year we adopted a pregnant stray dog in front of our house. I named it coklat (brown) and my cousin named it to google (i hv no idea why lol) Not long after that we lost putih. We don't know what was the reason. In my mind, he's wandering a lot and he's lost. Until now I never see him anymore. It was sad, maybe it's because he looks like a stray dog (he looks skinny and smelly because he does not like to get any shower) and people were afraid of rabies even though he already has a collar on his neck. Someone said that maybe his meat was tasty lol but I don't think dogs eater loves skinny stray dog looking right? It was our fault for letting him go wandering and I should not do this anymore.

Anyway, back to my brown dog named google. She delivered 7 babies, 6 male, and 1 female. We're screwed lol because I can't adopt many dogs. I've been calling my friends asked about adopting a dog and of course, it's really hard! It's really hard to find a person who loves to adopt local dogs. It's really hard but in the end, I found the kind adopters hehe. 4 males were adopted after 5 months and I took 2 males and 1 female. The reason why I took the female because no one likes female dogs. So my cousin said why don't we adopt it for ourself and I was okay why not. i named my male dogs Moka and Jiro (Because his fur is kinda like mochalatte lol and of course it was my cousin who named Jiro. Just don't ask me why it's Jiro because idk lol) About the female, we called it kinpoy wtf. kinpoy from kinpatsu because i watched boku wa tomodachi ga sukunai hahahah and the color was also kinpatsu lol. I left my puppies for about 1-2weeks because i went to Japan. After I came back, google was gone and not long after that kimpoy was died because of accident. Me and My cousin was so mad because of the accident but the person already apologize in a proper way. I still hated it but well, kimpoy won't be back anymore right? I only have Moka and Jiro now, they lived not happily ever after lol they LOVES to fight. Especially about food like their master wtf. But they loved each other, I still remember when Moka was in accident and I thought that he's gonna die. My cousin, my brother rushed to go to vet. We haven't took bath we looks like a stray girls wtf. We looks gembel with swollen eyes because we cried a lot lol. It's really expensive but I'm so happy because It was the right call. Moka still alive but his leg are limp. He's DESPERATELY want to live.  Me and my cousin taught Moka and Jiro for not going out anymore but moka was really really naughty. He loves to wandering like putih while Jiro only loves to sit in front of my house. My house was kinda complicated but it's near the main street so people could see my dogs sitting in front of my garage. 

Last november, I saw moka was lying down in front of my house. Exactly same like he had an accident before but it's different. He's not breathing anymore. Why? 

In the end we buried him near the mango tree. My cousin really loves moka because he's smart and he strong because he really want to live

Well now I only had Jiro and I really loves him. 

yesterday I just bathed him, searched his fleas. He smells so good and I hugged him so many many many overly times. He does not like to take bath lol but he didn't mad at me after I took him a bath. I really love him, I really really cherished him.

And when I just got back home today, bought a treat for him I just saw him sleeping peacefully. near my car. It's really weird. He usually waited for me and my cousin whenever we went back home. 

I don't wanna know the truth. I know why he's sleeping peacefully but does not want to believe. 

I was hoping he's just tired and wanna sleep for an hour. But no

He's now with Moka I guess. He could not stay with me anymore. Why? 

Let you give your own expectation why

My dogs are safe, both of them already has rabies and another vaccine. they had colar and never wandering around. They only not bark if there are strangers coming to our house. They do not run into someone. They only love to wait for me and my cousin. They are not a good breed dog, they are just normal local dogs but they're smart and we love him so much. I just bathe Jiro yesterday hugs him and now I have to see him buried near the mango trees along with moka

It's not fair to lose someone so easily even though it's not a human

I write this post only to say i'm really sorry I could not teach you properly. I could not protect you properly. I don't want to blaming of someone because of this. Killing dogs are really common in here for reducing the stray dogs. But just because my dogs are local dogs does not mean that they're both stray dogs right? they have colar on their neck. People has to know. They wants to live and being loved. It was more hurt than seeing my dogs that died because of age and sickness. 

I'm not an expressive person, but they really are my mood booster when i was so sad. What should I do from now? Jiro won't be in front of my room again craving AC neither will Moka. 

I love him, I..

Ah, I don't know anymore, I think I'm going to cry again. 

I wrote this post outside because kinda bored at home. Usually, I was with Jiro right now

I have to do anything else, it's getting bored without them. I was thinking about adopting another dog but I don't wanna end up like my previous pets. 

I was just hoping that someday there are no dogs that have to be eliminated anymore. I pray that Moka and Jiro are now awake in puppyland. 

I really am happy to meet you 

ikkel

p.s sorry for blabbing too much lol happy monday guys!